1 Peter 3 | Marriage, Modesty, and Suffering Well

The third chapter of 1 Peter gives us both a practical and spiritual challenge. Peter begins with instructions for husbands and wives, showing that Christian households are to reflect Christ’s character in their conduct. Wives are encouraged to live in a way that draws even unbelieving husbands to faith through their quiet strength and godly character. Husbands are called to honor their wives as co-heirs of grace, recognizing the deep spiritual consequences of neglecting or dishonoring them. Peter’s teaching reveals God’s design for complementarity and order in the family, grounded in mutual honor and respect.

The chapter then transitions into the call to live differently in a hostile world. Instead of lashing out when wronged, Christians are urged not to repay evil with evil but to respond with blessing. This countercultural approach reflects the way of Jesus, who suffered unjustly yet offered forgiveness. Peter emphasizes that this type of response not only glorifies Christ but also provides a powerful testimony to unbelievers, highlighting the hope within us.

One of the central themes here is suffering for righteousness’ sake. Peter reminds his readers that while suffering for doing wrong is expected, suffering for doing good is a mark of true discipleship. Followers of Jesus are called to be ready to give a defense for their faith with gentleness and respect, showing the world that their hope is anchored in Christ. This posture of readiness is essential for Christians navigating an unbelieving culture.

Peter also addresses baptism, clarifying its symbolic role. He ties it to Noah’s flood, making it clear that baptism itself does not save but points to salvation through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Baptism is the outward sign of an inward transformation, a public appeal to God for a clean conscience. This protects readers from confusing ritual with redemption and keeps the focus squarely on Christ as the one who saves.

Ultimately, 1 Peter 3 is about living out a radical, Christ-centered conduct both in our families and in the wider world. Whether through godly marriages, forgiving enemies, suffering well, or testifying to the hope of the gospel, Christians are called to embody a life that points directly to Jesus. In a culture of conflict and self-promotion, this passage challenges us to embrace humility, honor, and holiness as our witness.

 #BibleStudy #ChristianLiving #FaithInAction #JesusSaves #GospelTruth #1Peter3 #NewTestamentStudy #DailyBibleJourney #ScriptureApplicatio

Transcript

 1 Peter 3

1 Peter 3

Jenny Zook: [00:00:00] Hey everyone. Welcome to God's Plan, your part year two, where this year we're reading through and studying the entire New Testament one chapter at a time. Thanks again for joining us in discovering God's plan and your part in it. 

Ryan Zook: Today we are looking at first Peter chapter three. Uh, Peter is rounding out some of his conduct code kind of things.

Could be talking about how families are meant to work. Uh, he's gonna highlight some suffering. Things. I feel like we've touched on that quite a bit, and perhaps at the end we can clear up some baptism confusion. If any of you are reading over one Peter three and you're curious about what he means at the end of the chapter.

So, uh, there's a couple different places we can go here. Jenny, where do you wanna start? 

Jenny Zook: I, I don't really care. I was just gonna say about what you were introducing. I think the idea of suffering, although it does sound like he talks about it a lot, I think it's important because we do, like throughout our entire life, birth to death, you will suffer.

There will be things in your life that will be suffering in some way, shape or form, whether that's [00:01:00] significant suffering or just like, you know, little things throughout the day that test your faith and uh, your faith in God. So I think it's. It's cool that it's highlighted throughout. 'cause I think I don't, I don't know, just been speaking to like my heart recently.

I don't know that I am directly suffering, but I do feel like there's just a lot of weight in the world right now. And I think suffering for our Bible says for righteousness sake is a good reminder. Um, to stand up and stand out. For what you believe. I 

Ryan Zook: think we, uh, we've touched on that probably in every single chapter of First Peter.

Yep. Uh, just his, uh, eagerness to encourage people to willingly suffer to the honor of Christ. And it is a balance that we strike, because again, I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, I guess. But, um, we should stand for what's right. Uh, Peter gave his life because he was speaking for the gospel. So, uh, it is something that you hold in tandem.

Like we always stand for what's right. We always represent Christ whenever we possibly can, which is at all times. And then [00:02:00] also we willingly suffer, um, to the honor and glory of God, which I think it is difficult sometimes to hold those two pieces, uh, together. Um, but he'll make the case again that like, well.

You know, bad people suffer for bad decisions, so how much better offer you for suffering for good decisions? Something 

Jenny Zook: that's good. Yeah. So 

Ryan Zook: again, I think Peter's focus here is highlighting, uh, Christian conduct in a non-Christian world, uh, which is just as relevant today than it's ever been. 

Jenny Zook: So, just to kind of throw it back a little bit, two days ago we talked about the timeline of when all of this was being written.

Uh, Peter is writing this about 20 years after he was jailed in Jerusalem. Okay. So he's had some significant suffering already, and this is about a year or two-ish, give or take, until he's going to be martyred. So I'm sure that he is speaking not just to, to remind us constantly to remind his readers constantly, but.

He was going through so much himself. And how funny is it that when you're under so [00:03:00] much pressure? I mean, for me, sometimes when I'm under so much pressure, all I wanna do is just yell and have somebody try to like talk me off the edge. But he decides to encourage the church to stand firm, which I think is very telling.

Mm-hmm. 

Ryan Zook: Uh, let's touch on some of this, uh, family code stuff. It seems like you might be more qualified to speak to the women part. Perhaps I can talk to the men part. 

Jenny Zook: Well, I mean, right off the bat it talks about wives subject, or excuse me, be subject to your own husbands. Um, and I'm assuming this is speaking to women who are of the faith at the time with husbands that are not.

Mm-hmm. Correct. Um, so. Essentially just be a good example of what your faith is. Live it out in hopes that your husband will notice mm-hmm. And come alongside you, um, to work in tandem together for. God's glory 

Ryan Zook: again. One of the clear cases that Peter's trying to make throughout this entire letter, uh, is that people should be drawn to Christ because they're drawn to our [00:04:00] individual conduct.

So he's highlighting the importance of godliness in an ungodly world, and so naturally he makes the case that, hey, if you are a believing wife and you are married to an unbelieving husband, uh, the same concept applies. Draw his attention to Christ because of your conduct, because your hope is in Christ.

And he'll notice that. And, um, it, it's interesting, I think he has highlighted that now in communities, uh, in governments, in marriages, um, and, you know, all of these are examples of being godly and ungodly. Cultures and surroundings. 

Jenny Zook: I think something else to als to also point out. I know I have heard this passage many times in the past, and I oftentimes read the first part and I'm just like, Ugh, what is he saying?

And then totally forget or just don't even care to read the next verse. So verse three says, do not. And this is again, speaking to those wives. Do not let your adorning be external. The braiding of your hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear. And to me it's like, [00:05:00] oh my word. Like he's telling me to like live super plain and live like the Amish.

Like don't care about those things. You know what I'm saying? But what's funny is if you read verse four, it says, but let your adorning be hidden. Sorry. Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart. With the imperishable beauty of a gentle spirit and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

So I don't know that it's necessarily terrible or wrong to wear jewelry or to braid your hair or to wear nice clothes. What is important is that your character is far more beautiful than anything that you would wear. Um. Or adorn yourself with. And I think that's kind of the idea that's coming along here.

Obviously it's not like, you know, be so lavish and only care about all of those things, but I think what it's saying that's even more important that I miss often or used to miss all the time is, um, that your character should be much more beautiful than anything that you would adorn yourself with, 

Ryan Zook: I think, um, [00:06:00] to, to go out on a modesty note.

Um. Churches speaking on the idea of modesty has kind of fallen out of popularity. Yeah. It's kind of a tough message. Mm-hmm. Um, I don't know that that's a positive thing. 

Jenny Zook: No, it's definitely not. 

Ryan Zook: And it's, you know, I, I think you're right to say like, Peter's not necessarily saying you can't braid your hair, you can't wear your rings, you know, whatever, make whatever case you wanna make.

Um, certainly. You will be less drawn to drawing attention to yourself and being prideful in doing so, uh, if you don't do those things. And so, you know, I love me some Amish conversations. Um, I like to make the case all the time, like, yeah, Amish people aren't saved by their works, but I bet they have, um, less, a 

Jenny Zook: couple less issues.

Issues. Yeah. Yeah. 

Ryan Zook: And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Um, I think in our modern culture and context, like we're just constantly trying to figure out, um, how we can be a Christian and toe the line really close. I don't think that's helpful. Um, so don't hear me saying that, you know, [00:07:00] you can't have a nice dress or something.

Um, certainly your godliness is more important than your appearance. And I think particularly for women, I don't, you can definitely correct me if I'm wrong, but I think particularly for women, that is a difficult. Line to toe? 

Jenny Zook: Well, I think a lot of times I know for myself with my dad, he used to always harp on me about what I was wearing, especially when I was a teenager or even in college years.

Um, I always hated the feeling of control. Because I heard it said the other day, uh, there was a woman that was teaching a, a group of us women, uh, US moms, and she mentioned just like how women and men operate and oftentimes out of our own sin nature, women desire control. Okay. We wanna be in charge. We wanna make the controlled decision.

She would, 

Ryan Zook: that's part of the Genesis three curse. I was just gonna say, she brought it back to Genesis White people desire to rule over the man. 

Jenny Zook: Yes. Uh, with Adam and Eve. Um, and so she was talking about how, what women desire to control things and men desire to just kind of, okay, [00:08:00] just have peace. Like how often do you hear your husband say.

Yep, sure. Whatever, because they don't wanna deal with the conflict. Whereas if the roles were flipped, if we did just listen to the men around us, these godly men around us that are actually trying to, um, help us out in a spiritual way, but also obviously in a physical way, like advising us to dress modestly or whatever.

Um, yeah, if we could take our roles a little bit more seriously. And I just think that speaks to that a little bit because I've been there, done that 

Ryan Zook: since I'm already, uh. Sticking myself in the cross hairs, commenting on modesty. I'll go even further and say, Hey, listen, if you read first previous three, um, it is really, really difficult to make a biblical case that there is not some kind of order to Christian families.

Mm-hmm. And men do have authority in Christian families. Uh, they are. Called to be Godly. So anytime you see an ungodly man ruling over his wife, that is not God's intent for [00:09:00] marriage. Um, but just because there's numerous terrible examples of ungodly men, uh, doing ungodly things in their marriages, that doesn't mean that we should just.

Throw this idea of order out. Uh, so I will, I will definitely take my opportunity here to highlight how much I am a fan of complementarianism, if you want nerdy terms. Mm-hmm. Um, men and women are of equal value, but they have unique roles that compliment each other. Uh, and I think when you're just. Doing a faithful reading of scripture.

Um, it's really hard to make a counter case that men and women are, um, equal in the roles that they fill. I think we get in a lot of trouble when we try to break down those distinctions, uh, to the very point where in today's culture and context we can't even define what a man or a woman is. Oh my goodness.

So we've broken that down so far, uh, that now there is no distinction and I think, mm-hmm. Um. 

Jenny Zook: That's very much on purpose. 

Ryan Zook: I think it's very much on purpose and I think, uh, to the glory of God, I think that [00:10:00] is starting to turn. Mm-hmm. I think we're heading a different direction, uh, in our day and age, but I will tell you that, um, while there is unhealth in churches that are complimentarian, um, I do think that they are much more biblically sound in their practice.

And where they tend to screw up is that God calls godly men to be leaders. God does not just call any old man to be a leader. Mm-hmm. And that's where you'll find mm-hmm. Church is getting in trouble is where they're saying, Hey, women can't do anything and we'll take literally any man, uh, that is not good either.

Yeah. Uh, so to, to continue to flesh out this family role thing, uh, verse seven. Likewise husbands mm-hmm. Uh, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. Um, women. Please don't hear that and think Peter is saying that you are not worth much. Um, women are weaker vessels than men.

I, I think that that's a pretty straightforward case. And Peter's saying, Hey, don't rule over your wife. Uh, taking advantage of the fact that you are stronger and you are, um, [00:11:00] just, you know, we're talking basic biology, like you're bigger, you're stronger. Um, don't take advantage of her instead honor her. Uh, and I would say the more prickly point is actually to the men here.

Uh, I always like highlighting this verse when I come across it. Um, I, I guess I'll just read the whole thing. Likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way. Showing honor to the woman is a weaker vessel. Since they are heirs with you. Uh, again, you compliment each other, uh, of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Uh, I put together a curriculum one time where my pointed takeaway was, if you ignore your wife, God will ignore you. Uh, and that made people very upset. But, but I think, um. I think it's true. I think Peter is saying like, Hey man, if you're not caring for your wives, it's going to hinder your prayer life. Uh, what more pointed thing could Peter say?

Like literally, if you're not caring for your wife in a godly way, it will affect your relationship with God. Well, and how many times that's a big deal. 

Jenny Zook: Is the church compared in that way as well? So like, 

Ryan Zook: correct. 

Jenny Zook: Christ loved [00:12:00] the church. So husbands love your wives. If you're not. Giving that same relationship, why would, why would the Lord want to hear your prayers?

So that, that is an interesting parallel. 

Ryan Zook: The old school, nerdy term for that is headship, and it makes people really uncomfortable. Oh my goodness. Um, but it's, it 

Jenny Zook: does sound like a cringey word, but only because we've been told that it is. So there's that, 

Ryan Zook: and I think it's important to call that out. And when we live according to God's word, we actually enjoy our lives more, and we are more likely to be in God's will.

So. I think we've labored that point. Um, going into suffering, I think we kind of touched on this already, but, uh, Peter again and again and again in this letter is encouraging people to willingly suffer to the honor of Christ. Um, while we may not be actively being persecuted, um, while you may not be called to give your life for Christ, I think there are many, many other examples of ways that we can be willingly trampled.

Uh, to draw attention to Jesus. And I think when we have those opportunities, we should think twice before we ignore them. I do think it gets [00:13:00] people's attention when you do something, uh, that allows somebody to trample you for Christ's sake. And it gets people's attention and it brings honor and glory to Jesus.

And it is hard to do, but it's many times a good thing to do. 

Jenny Zook: So three verses in this next section that stuck out to me as far as the, um, the suffering piece is definitely verse nine, nine says, do not repay evil for evil, or reviling for reviling. But on the contrary, bless for this. Sorry for to this you were called that you may obtain a blessing.

Um, so I, I would say this sounds very similar to what Jesus was teaching. Um, you've heard that's an eye for an eye tooth for a tooth. Um. This is saying straight up, don't repay the evil for the evil. I think it's really powerful whenever you hear any message, I mean, I don't mean to bring it up again, but just recently, um, with Erica Kirk when she said, I forgive you, like anytime someone forgives you this so powerful.

Um, when you are feeling so wronged or so [00:14:00] hurt or so alone, but you still have the strength to forgive someone and it makes no sense. It doesn't, it doesn't seem to make any sense to our human minds, but the, the ability to forgive is so much more powerful than repaying that evil that was afflicted on you.

Ryan Zook: So to push the cultural reference references even further, um, certainly was a powerful thing that Erica Kirk is, um. Publicly forgiving. Mm-hmm. Um, the, the person who killed her husband, um, I actually have been a little bit, not to diminish her, but I've been a little bit more intrigued with what's going on with Tim Allen.

Yeah. Tim Allen recently posted on X or Twitter or whatever. Mm-hmm. Um. He, I go find it. If you wanna find it, find it for yourself. He's reflecting on what she said as well, but he's reflecting on what she said. And his, his father was killed by a drunk driver, um, years ago. I don't actually know the amount of time, but I'm talking 34 years ago.

It was a long time. Yeah. And um, he's never forgiven the guy. That did it. Uh, and he's, you know, [00:15:00] been around without a dad for a long time. And so what he wrote on X was that, Hey, I'm speaking this out loud as I'm typing it. I forgive the man who killed my father. Um, so it it's this chain reaction again. I think it makes the case like it's this chain reaction that draws attention to Jesus and glorifies God, um, that when we forgive people.

That's weird. Mm-hmm. And it makes people reflect on their own lives and oftentimes drives them to forgiveness. Uh, I think, again, I probably spend too much time on Twitter. There's a lot of people that are kind of publicly trying to make sense of this forgiveness piece. Uh, and what it could do for them.

Mm-hmm. Um, there's a, there's a pretty famous quote that when you choose to be bitter towards someone, it's like, uh, drinking poison yourself and trying to kill your enemy. Hmm. So the only person you hurt when you choose to be bitter is yourself. Hmm. And that's why Christ calls us to forgiveness because it's healthier actually for us, but it also brings glory and honor to him.

Jenny Zook: So, going along with that, uh, he's still talking about those [00:16:00] who are out to harm you in verse, let's see, four. Yeah, it's 14 and 15. He says, have no fear of them nor be troubled. First of all, super hard thing to do. I know for myself, worry is one of like my worst sins, I guess. Um, but in your hearts honor Christ, the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that is in you.

Super pointed, if you've ever thought of that. If somebody asked you about your faith, what would you say? Um. Uh, sometimes I feel like I would just be like, um, next question please. Um, but then it does go on to say, yet do it with gentleness and respect. Um, so I think, again, that. That whole idea of being willing to forgive, but don't be afraid of the people who come after you, but be ready to like, essentially give your testimony for what's God's done in your own life.

I don't know you wanna speak to that at all? I, I 

Ryan Zook: would say just the super simple thing that I would encourage you is when you are in that position of explaining, just make sure you use the [00:17:00] name Jesus somehow, 

Jenny Zook: right? Yeah. 

Ryan Zook: Um, I've always been taught, I think in a deeper, more theological sense, like be prepared to present the, you know, the Romans, Roe Roman or the, the, the.

The tulip or you know, whatever I, the 

Jenny Zook: tulip. Yeah. Is that a real thing? We'll get into that later. Oh my. Okay. It's a 

Ryan Zook: Calvinist thing. Um. I think just make sure you recognize Jesus. Um, I think sometimes we can make these things more difficult than what they really are. Um, and if somebody is drawn to whatever's going in your life, it's the Holy Spirit that's doing it.

Uh, it is God that is causing something to stir in them, that's drawing them to you to ask you. So if the Holy Spirit is moving and working in your, in their life, um. Believe that he's also working in your life and will equip and empower you to say what needs to be said. He's already drawing that person to you.

So just respond to the spirit and tell him about Jesus. Um, I don't really care how you do it. Make sure it's in a biblical sense. I was 

Jenny Zook: gonna say, and with gentleness and respect. Yeah. Um, then final verse for me, and I don't know if you wanna add to this, [00:18:00] but verse 17, for it's better to suffer for doing good.

Uh, if that should be God's will. Than for doing evil. 

Ryan Zook: There you go. 

Jenny Zook: So I think that kind of wraps the whole thing up right there. 

Ryan Zook: Okay. So one quick nerdy thing, uh, when I read this out loud, and again, always make sure you listen to God's words, not mine. Um, verse 21, baptism, which corresponds to this, he's talking about the flood with Noah, uh, now saves you not as a removal of dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Um. In a quick reading or a quick listening, you might hear that and be like, oh, baptism saves us. I thought it was Jesus that saves us. So it's important to read the full context of that verse. Just, just, just read just that verse. Uh, he's saying that, uh, again, i'll, the, the exact words, baptism, which corresponds to this now saves you, uh, again, as an appeal to God for a good conscious, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

So he's not saying baptism saves you, uh, he's saying it's an outward, very obvious, very clear appeal to the fact that Jesus Christ has saved you. So he's not making some. As a case that baptism does it, uh, it's always Jesus that does it. Mm-hmm. [00:19:00] Uh, many of you might not have been worried about that or concerned about that, but I figured it's worth highlighting 'cause you might have questions about that.

So it's always Jesus and baptism is the sign of what Jesus has done. So, uh, thanks again for listening to God's Plan, your Part. Uh, the takeaway for today, I think is to be a more forgiving person. Uh, and when somebody sees that, or notices that, or has questions about that, just tell 'em about Jesus. Uh, the Holy Spirit will lead you and give you the words that you need in that moment.

Hey, before we get into the reading, we want to tell you quickly about Logos Bible Software. It's very helpful to us as we prep for the podcast. And we can offer it to you at a discounted rate. There's two links in our description. One will get you the logos, uh, fundamentals pack for 50 bucks, which is a great price.

The other one will get you a percentage off any package that you want. We use it often. We think it'll be useful to you, and if you use that link, you'll be helping out the podcast. So go check that out. With that in mind, here's today's reading first, Peter chapter three. Likewise wives be subject to your own husbands so that even if some do not obey the word, they may [00:20:00] be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Do not let your adorning be external. The braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is in God's sight, is very precious for this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves.

By submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel since they are heirs with you and the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Finally, all of you have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. [00:21:00] Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless for to this you were called that you may obtain a blessing. For whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.

Let him turn away from evil and do good. Let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are open to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good, but even if you should suffer for righteousness sake, you will be blessed.

Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts, honor Christ, the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason, for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience. So that when you are a slandered, [00:22:00] those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame for it is better to suffer for doing good if that should be God's will than for doing evil for Christ.

Also suffered once for sins. Righteous for the unrighteousness that he might bring us to God being put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison because they formally did not obey when God's patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few that is eight persons were brought safely through water.

Baptism, which corresponds to this now saves you not as a removal of dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience through the resurrection of Jesus Christ who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him.

Thank you so much for listening [00:23:00] to today's episode of God's Plan, your Part. Don't forget, you can find us on just about every social media platform and YouTube. Let us know what you thought of today's episode, and if you have any questions, go ahead and post them there. You can also reach out to us directly at God's plan, your part@gmail.com.

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